Longevity pay.

Recently, I reached an employment milestone: 10 years with the County of Kern. For my loyalty, I received a nice tote, a certificate (see photo below), and an extra little love on my pay check. This last item was something that I had heard of but had never experienced. Something called longevity pay.

To be honest, I had mixed feelings about this financial blessing. Much as I, like anyone in this economy, could use a few extra bucks each pay period, I had this sinking feeling that I had reached a dead end--an uncomfortably comfortable habituality--from which I would never escape.

In order to process my thoughts, I wrote a short, depressing poem:

Longevity pay (what it means):

Stable, solid, old.

Settled, no longer looking, no more hope of change--

nor of striving to reach goals.

Arriving at plateaus; no longer choosing.

Becoming one of them.

Defeat.

Smacking of bland death or middle age--whichever comes first--

Walking in tasteless, stale, sensible shoes.

Cheery, eh? It's certainly not as maudlin a prospect as all that, but I do feel I've missed certain "windows" which may never open again. However, I have embraced the new dollar amount I get to count on each check, and though I have mixed feelings about being a permanently permanent fixture with the County, I am proud of the fact that I've stuck with an employer this long--and that, in these times, that employer has allowed me to stick!

And, guess what? Last time I checked, I'm still breathing. Some opportunities are, quite definitely, gone forever. But future possibilities of art, new experiences, and life and love are all before me. I don't think I need to finish my autobiography just yet.

Home sweet home.

There is plenty of room and plenty of love
filling this 1940 fixer-upper! 

Somehow the subject of homes came up as Phillip and I were talking today. Although we can get caught up in complaining about our rental property, we actually love the space and treat it as if it is our own. So many others have been forced to downgrade their living quarters and we have been blessed--so far--to be able to afford our quiet little home. This post is just to give thanks and remember that there are a great many others who are not as fortunate. We will continue to pray that this economy turns around and that many will be able to get back on their feet again soon.

Crime Scene Revisited

Surprise--I actually went out and made pictures today!

About a year ago, on a gorgeous, sunny day in Bakersfield, Phillip and I visited some fields on the northeast side of town (my home turf) which appeared to have either once been a housing tract, or which once was going to be a housing tract. Debris left by one-time residents (or nearby neighbors who didn't feel like going all the way to the dump) was scattered over the area. The remainders made for an interesting photo session, and I featured one of the photos, "Crime Scene Barbie" on the January 30th post.

Today we returned on a gloomy, rainy day to revisit the scene. We were surprised to find that some things had changed and more surprised to see that some things hadn't changed all that much. I hope we'll get a chance next year for a return trip to again be able to document the evidence of passing time.